One Day at at Time
Do you believe that youth is reserved for the young in years?
You're in good company!
Most of the world thinks that only the young can have youth! Most everyone looks for it, always have, making a lot of fuss about youth.
Ponce de Leon made a big enough deal about youth to convince the funding of a major expedition to find its fountain. And long before Ponce, the Greeks & their contemporaries idolized youth so much that they just made youth immortal, putting their people in stone to be forever preserved. We see them today in gardens and museums and picture books, the many statues of strong, virile gods, forever young in their marble. It was but one solution of many, to hold onto youth.
The quest for elusive youth has spanned the ages of centuries. It's been sought for in water, in the air, and in cosmetics. Millions are pocketed each year (millions of people as well as millions of dollars) by snake oil merchants telling us we need what's in their bottles or on their trains. And people pay the ransom, thinking they'll find their youth. They just never awaken to the knowledge that, because youth isn't external, you can't buy it, or even find it, outside of one's self. Youth is not a commodity.
Lucky you live today! We are so better enlightened! You don't need to search in all the wrong places for your youth. You won't need to cast yourself in stone or convince a queen to fund a quest for it, either. You don't even need to travel so far as a plastic surgeon's office! You just need this information, to be young by 90, and beyond as well as before. The catch is in discarding the getting old part so you can get a firm grip on youth.
You will need a notebook, and a writer (a writer is something, anything, you can find to write with when you have kids around who hide all the pens, pencils, crayons, markers, etc, and you're grateful to find anything to write with: writer), Mostly you'll need a desire to stop getting old, and a decision to begin today to be young; a belief that you can be young; the imagination to let your thinking be young; the desire to choose young friends; permission (from yourself) to think young; and a special kind of love.
I must explain that I use "youth" and "young" not meaning young in years so much as young in vitality and perception of life. I also do not refer to youth as being juvenile. I'm talking about the young youth of holding the refreshing, zesty spark of enthusiasm of life.
Each step involves a task, maybe more, but don't worry. The difficult part will be honest thinking on your part! Make it fun, that's what life (and youth) is for!
Live your life with youth! It's simple: Super simple! You can be young by 90!
Now, continue reading.
1
the Problelm
Youth is a process
The trick to being young, or full of youth, is to not get old.
Getting old is a process of exchanging youth for getting old.
That you've taken steps to find the steps to be young by 90 shows that you've made a step in the right direction.
As a friend of mine says, Getting old is hard. Don't do it!
Getting old is a process. Being young is a process, too.
Do you remember when, at three, 7 was old? Then at thirteen, 25 was really old while 30, ancient old? As we aged, we kept accepting that we were getting old. Hold on! It's time to reverse the process, from getting old to being young!
Youth: You want it, you know you do. You can have it, you know you can. Put away your pockebook, you already hold in your hands your personal instructions to being young by 90. Youth is a process, and if you're ready to step into the process of living a life of youth, you've come to the right step to begin stepping! Now, learn to be young!
2
the Story
As a child in single digit years I thought of 100 as old, and a person would begin to get old at around 90, far as I could figure, and that was that. As a little kid, I knew I didn't want to get old. Of course, I didn't stop to think of its natural alternative, but I didn't think about youth, or remaining young, either: it just was.
As I've grown closer to my current half-way to old age, 50 (which I always thought of as approaching middle age), I've watched and learned about attitude of life by observing. I've watched teenagers get high on drugs as they prematurely age, so I knew that wasn't a way to avoid getting old. I'd listen to my high school teachers talk about how they were getting old, and hear the jokes about getting old, and it seems to me that this self-talk plays a major role in getting old, people convincing themselves that, yep! they are getting old!
Who says I must just accept that I'm getting old? Is there something wrong with retaining some of the youth I've learned by observation? I'm impressed by the people who have shown me that their youth has nothing to do with the number of years they've been alive. They don't say that youth is wasted on the young, for they thrive on the very qualities that make youth so desirable, and have the wisdom of experience to know a good thing when they find it.
I've watched closely, too, some of my older friends, what keeps them young. One woman, now 98, kept a twinkle in her eye, until she lost her love of 60 odd years. An 88 year old man found a computer at a garage sale, then began to upgrade it as he, and it, needed refreshing. And I read of the woman who celebrated her 100th birthday by learning to fly. Young people, each of them!
I've learned from a special friend in her late 80s to let go of things that are past as I go into the future, and to stay abreast of current events. Her friends are mostly my age (30 years younger). I want to jump out of an airplane, she wants to go on a bungee jump vacation! This friend is younger than some 30 year old computer geeks I know!
Youth is the art of not getting old. To whatever age I live, I aim to live it without getting old.... I'll share what I've learned, so you can be young by 90, too!
3
Youthful Honesty
Make the decision to stop getting old.
You can fool some of the people some of the time.
You can fool yourself most of the time.
You've been fooling yourself, if you tell yourself you must get old.
Your first step to be young by 90 is to be aware of the ways you tell yourself you're getting old
No, you can't stop the calendar pages from going forward. No, you don't want to relinquish the knowledge, wisdom, experience and news you've gained from your years on earth. But, you can stop the process of getting old. You see, to get old is a decision you make, even though you want to be young. It makes a rather ludicrous picture: you practice the art of convincing yourself you're getting old, while drooling for youth and spending tons trying to put it on the outside. Stop!
Think about the things you do to practice getting old.
Maybe you ask yourself when you awaken in the morning, "What new pain will I discover today?" Or, you forget something and contribute it to getting old. Your hearing is going, you say, or your body is falling apart, and chalk it all up to getting old. Does the grey hair, or no hair, mean you're getting old?
Find a notebook, spiral or bound. Title a page, "Stop Getting Old". On this page, make a written list of the facts of life you encounter that you contribute to getting old. You can use the examples above, if you don't know where to begin. For now, don't worry about how long your list is, you can add to it later. The important thing is to identify how you see yourself as getting old.
You'll need to revisit this step, and others, so keep the notebook where you can readily add to it as you continue to identify your "getting old" thoughts. You'll get better at identifying ways you're getting old as you just do it.
4
Be young today
Determine to begin now.
Yesterday was Then. Today is Now. Tomorrow is the result of Today.
Don't let what was overshadow what is.
Life makes an experienced young person.
You've made a list with at least a few of the ways you practice getting old. In this step, you'll be honest about what you've identified. You'll begin to replace the process of getting old with a focus on being young.
Read the first item on your "Stop Getting Old" page. Now, let your brain be busy and think of reasons a person may pose that thought, other than getting old.
Maybe you wrote, for example, "What new pain will I discover today?" Now, think of some reasons, other than getting old, why a person may pose this particular observation. Maybe a child admires Evil Knievel and looks forward to an escapade, but wonders about discovering a new pain as a result; or maybe this child has been hit with an evil bug and confined to bed for a few days, and he now wonders what pain he'll feel next, and where. Maybe a young soldier, wounded in combat, will ooze back into consciousness wondering what pain he will awaken to. Can't you picture a young doctor wondering, as he seeks to help his patient, what pain he'll discover, that his patient has been experiencing, that may identify the disease?
The point is, what you contribute to "getting old" may have nothing to do with it! Others, perceived as young, may fondle the same symptoms yet arrive at different conclusions. They think of it as an experience of life for the day, or they think of it not at all.
For each item you identified as "getting old", find at least three reasons for the thought, other than getting old. Write them down, a new page for each "Stop Getting Old" item. Give thought to the contrast of your original list and the three alternate options. Understand that you are identifying the experiences that make life, life.
Remember, life makes an experienced young person.
As you go through today and the days following, be aware of your acceptance or rejection to experiences. When you catch yourself in a "getting old" mindset, write it in your notbook, then contrast it.
Like the first step, you'll need to revisit this one, too, as you get used to thinking of yourself as young.
I can, I can, I can be Young!
Can'ts knock us down. Cans pick us up
It is challenging to make what had been broken bones get up and walk again. Since I broke a leg at the age of 12, it's not bent right. More recent injuries limit my movement. I learned to not only accept the fact that I cannot walk down the slope to my mailbox without holding on to something, I also leaned to focus on the fact that I can walk! What I -can- do is of greater value than what I cannot physically do.
"I can't stay awake all day, I need a nap!," you say. That doesn't mean you sleep your life away. Find a pick-me-up and focus on why you want to be awake. If you use the television for company, tell yourself that you can get up and get out!
When something doesn't work right, seems to difficult, or lets fear creep in go back to the tasks in Steps 1 and 2.
Don't write anything, yet. For now, ust think about the things that interfere with your doing what you want to do. Maybe, like me, you have leg/foot/ankle bones that just don't hurt right, let alone work right. Maybe you're tired, however you got that way, or perhaps your spouse, in-laws, children, friends, boss and co-wroker want your blood and marrow. I know, I know, you first need to think about the things you want to do, but not yet.
Now, get rid of the "I Can'ts." Otherwise, you can't say, "I Can." Create in your mind a list of these evil things for which you say, "I can't" be young. Add to the tasks in Steps 1 and 2, as appropriate.
In you notebook, create a page titled, "I Can".
For this exercise, think about your "I Can" reach for desires of youth.
My 85 year old friend, who just had a knee replaced, wants to bungee jump. For me, I want to skydive. Both of us have decided "I Can". Maybe you want to write a novel; you can. (See Wendi for this!) Or is a trip to Hawaii more suited to your "I Can" page?
6
Young in Mind
The mind is a terrible thing to waste, but it won't spoil with the age of years.
Old and age can refer to either withered and life-ebbing, or a number on a calendar. Being old in years is fine, for it's usually the person who has had time to gain experience who can learn the wisdom of being truly young.
One who needs the help of many hands to count his birthdays knows lots of secrets. While a person younger in years may worry about the wrinkles, an older person, young at heart, will know that they don't hurt, and can read the personality of the lines etched on another's face. He also knows the value of his mind controlling the rest of himself.
The mind, above all, needs to be fed. Watch any newborn, toddler, or fresh-out-of-college journalist, and you'll see the fingers of a mind stretching out to see what it can grasp. That's curosity, a desire to know. That's youth.
We never outgrow our need for mind. We never outgrow our need for youth. Now, the brain has lots of folds to cover the synapses, to channel the chemicals and electrical and other stuff in there. The brain is the thing that holds the mind. When we think we've lost our youth, our minds begin to wrinkle, and too much wrinkling in the mind withers the brain. Execrising our minds helps the folds stay neat.
What tickles your mind, what intrigues you? What new things do you need to know? What interests need refreshing?
Explore new things your mind may want to know. Go to the library, search the internet for things of interest. Ask a kid to tell you something, anything, and listen intently. (You may not understand, but the mind exercise will be good!)
In your notebook, title a page, "Young in Mind". Keep a log of things that come to mind that you may want to know more about. Then, at least once a week, spend some time exploring the depths of something on this list. Keep adding to this list!
7
Friends of Youth
Birds of a feather flock together, and youthful friends soar with you.
If you're 100 years old, many of your friends, more than likely, won't be here any more. Unless you were smart, and found a flock to fly with, with geese and ganders all younger than you, that is.
If you've applied steps one and two, you'll be attractive to people of youth. They'll want to be with people who energize them, like you'll want to be with people who enliven you. Contribute to this friend, learn from that one. Don't act young: be young.
A gathering of youth talk energetically. They may be into iPods or other news in technology, or maybe they thrill at bungee jumping. They know drugs and drunkenness drain youth, so they refrain. There's lots of laughter, which you can see at the corner of the eyes or in the upturn gracing the mouth, when you can't hear it with your ears. Talk is of tomorrow.
Memories are wonderful, and can be fun. Memories belong to Yesterday, which was a stepping stone; we learn from it, then move on. Youth lives in Today, reaching for Tomorrow.
Continue to add to your notebook for the previous steps, as applicable.
In your notebook, create a page, "Friends of Youth." On this page, include the names of young, or youth-ful, people you know with whom you can have a mutual friendship. Expect to find people in unexpected places. Maybe the nurse for your older sister would be a friend, or your stock broker. You may have met people in your computer group who recognize your enthusiasm, if not your talent.
Don't have a computer group with young people? So, join one! Don't know of a nurse to befriend? Then volunteer at a hospital, just don't hang with the "getting old" folks. Go to your local university library and start a conversation with a student looking at a geography, or cosmology book. Just show an interest, it'll develop
Be prepared to learn new things, as youth do!
8
Live life young
Romp in the rain, go to the zoo, play.
Children, with their ever-present, effervescent awe at the simplest things, don't have a clue what it means to be young, for they just are young, so full of youth! Ever watch a child's wonder at the height of a giraffe's head, way up atop that impossibly tall neck? How many times has a child counted the petals on a plumeria, or watched the wanderings of an ant?
After her son was born, my daughter declared that, when it rained, she'd send her son out to play in it. She was born and brought up in Hawaii, so she wasn't prepared for rain to be chilling, as it is, when it does, in Southern California. She said that one of her memories of growing up was being told to go out and enjoy the rain and her puddles, while friends' mothers made them stay inside and dry. Life happens, why not enjoy it?
When a hurricane would come by, it was reasonable to find a comfy place, then watch the wonders of nature through the big glass window. And watching the lightening bolts touch the side of the Bay Tunnel's bridge was almost as neat as seeing a ball of electricity run along the line just outside my house, after a car struck a transmitter pole.
To a child, the whole world is a new experience, they're seeing it for the first time. I was fortunate, as both of my parents were rather creative. They showed my brothers and me how to see, with both our minds and eyes, the little things that were right in front of us, that are generally unnoticed by others. Satisfaction killed the cat, after all, and only curiosity brought him back. What was backwards to others was forward for us, so getting old begins at 90, unless you learn to be young before then.
Experience the life around you as a child might. What can you see for the first time, which you've looked at a hundred times before? When you look into the sky, how many colors can you see, and where are the bottoms of the clouds?
In your notebook, create a page, "Live Life Young." Observe the world around you, under your bed and at your zoo. Ask yourself how a child might see it. Better yet, ask a child. Make notes about things you see frequently, yet see for the first time.
Include in your notebook observations of nature. Maybe the wind is helping clouds race across the sky, or an icicle looks proud before the morning sun begins to melt it. You may notice how the whiskers come out from a pet's snout. Children notice these things. Have you forgotten?
9
Love Young
Have someone to love, and someone to love you.
You probably think of "love", when not intending french fries, as a feeling, typically caused by something someone does. "I love so and so, he makes me feel so good." Well, this kind of affection can help you feel good, but don't you want to be young? Maybe you love being with your friends, that makes you gay. (Gay, meaning happy.) Feelings are important, and essential, and contribute to youth, but a life lived on feelings is a life with little substance.
Our American English language doesn't reflected the different meanings of our word, "love". The greeks had three different meanings we translate as love, and one meaning absence of love: eros (erotic, sexual love); philadelphia (brotherly love); and agape (the more elusive, deeper love, the greatest love).
This Step focuses on the Greek, agape form of love. It's the hardest, because, without this love, no one is young; without this agape love, one will just keep getting older.
If you would be young, you would have the substance of love. Love doesn't keep track of how you feel, of what's done or not. This love is not amorous, although it compliments. This Love is a measure of giving of self, for the benefit of another. It does not take equal measure, although it is often rewarded.
Without love, there is no life. You need life for youth. You need love.
Task
Read "Love Is," below. It'll tell you all about Love to keep you young by 90!
To whom in you life do you extend love, the agape kind? Is it returned?
In your notebook, title a page, "Love Young."
Note the ways you love another that don't involve emotion or your getting something in return.
Now, note the ways your life is full of this love.
By now, your heart should be rejoicing. You should feel refreshed, relieved, and rejoicing in the richness of your youth.
Love Is
I Corinthians, from the New American Bible:
"If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing. For we know partially and we prophesy partially, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.
When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things° . At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known. So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
° this reference is referring to a child being childish, then growing to maturity. A mature man/woman can see through the eyes of child without being childish.
aloha!
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