Mother Bonds Build Baby Character

Baby isn't an accessory. He isn't a toy, pet, trophy or prize, either. He's a human being, a Life. A tiny, complete person, who will bestow on his Mother and Father the greatest joys, heart-wrenching griefs, fascinating discoveries, challenges and delights. Baby will grow to show you the World, if you let him.

Fathers and Mothers have special Bonds with their children. Fathers provide for the needs of the family. Mothers nurture.

Mother and Baby grow a Bond between them, when the value of the life of Baby, and his constant need, is honored by Mother. Mother-substitutes don't nurture bonds. Mother/Baby Bonds contribute to Baby's character.

There's the Bond of Trust and the Bond of Firsts in the earliest months, woven together by Mother nurturing Baby. There is no substitute for Mother-Bonding.

The Bond of Trust

Baby will learn to trust Mother, when she is there to answer his call. He won't know the word trust for some time, for trust will grow from his dependence, knowing Mother will protect him and satisfy his needs. He'll not even need to know about protection, for Mother will see to it that he is protected, warmed, cleaned, dried, soothed and satisfied. In the earliest months, Baby learns the Bond of Trust by the arms that hold him, the voice that soothes him, the hands that clean him, the lips that kiss him, the expression that loves him, the ears that learn his language, the eyes that watch him, the body that snuggles him. Mother's joy in being there is second to Baby's joy in receiving his Mother's love.

Baby needs Mother present. After a few months of testing the Bond of Trust, Baby will venture into his world. In the confidence of his Mother's presence he'll sample unidentifiable bits of left-overs under the chair, stuff in his diaper or whatever it was the dog left on the carpet. He will taste everything, and will trust the Mother who knows him to keep him safe. Learning confidence, fingers will find sockets, and stairs that look to be flat before he learns dimension will entice, but he will be safe in the Bond of Trust with Mother.

With Mother ever present, when he is old enough to walk, ride a bike, cross the street, go to school, fall in love.... his character, built from the Bond of Trust, will guide his youth. Once he matures, he'll look back and understand his confidence of the strength of the Bond of Trust with Mother.

The Bond of Firsts

The Bond of Firsts is, for Mother, more joy than challenge. Sharing the firsts with Baby is part of being Mother. There's only once, for a first. Only once will Baby sit up for the first time, only once will Baby speak his first words. Only once will Baby do anything for the first time, and it's a privilege for Mother to experience his firsts. He needs Mother to share the firsts with him. Mother has joy in him, and Baby has joy in sharing the moment with the most important Mother that will ever touch his life.

The shared experience of the Bonds Mother and Baby weave together is a greater reward than anything Mother set aside in her life, to focus on being Mother to Baby. And, although he won't know to express it, he will love Mother the more for acknowledging, and responding to, the value of his life.

Value of Baby Life

Especially in his earliest years, the essential value of the life of Baby is expressed by Mother. It is through Mother that Baby will know he is loved. No one will invest in his life the way Mother will, no one will show him the height of Interest in his welfare, nor depth of concern, as Mother does. Baby will be top priority to her, for no one else will regal him with such adoration.

She will find that the reward of being Mother can never be substituted by a nice house with nice things, nice car, clothes, yard, vacations. The social life of Mother will change, to greet the need of Baby. Mother will sacrifice, for Baby, what no one else will. She will find interest in what he does, and how, when and where. She will invest in Baby's life first, before her own.That is definition of Mother: Baby.

Whether or not to truly be Mother in Life of Baby is a decision a mother chooses. Decisions are often not easy, but Love for Baby can help Mother make the right choice: to Mother Baby.

She will find her way beyond the excuses of needing the job, needing the money, needing the fulfillment of working, prestige, social life…: whatever the excuses, Mother will find the courage to face the difficulties and accept the challenges. Because she loves him she will do it, for Baby.

Will You?

Will you choose to be present in the life of your Baby? Will you be a mother who will experience, first-hand, Baby's firsts? Will you grow a Bond of Firsts?

Will you cherish the Bond of Trust, clutch it tightly to your breast, and not let someone wriggle in to divide the Bond? Will you build the Bond of Trust with Baby? Will you take responsibility for guiding Baby's character, which is built on Bond of Trust? It's a full-time commitment, substitutes can't do the job of Mother.

As Mama used to say:

Be cautious what you think, for your thoughts become words.
Be selective with your words, for your words become actions.
Control your actions, for your actions become your habits.
Harness your habits, for your habits become your character.
Build your character, for your character becomes your destiny.

With the Bond of Trust Baby learns to be careful, to make selective choices, to control & harness self, to build character.

Baby needs Mother.

I Watched You

I watched you grow up in measurements of moments. I fondly recall countless moments spent with each of my children, including you. Some of those moments were hours, but it was the moments, the one-time-only moments, that brought meaning to the joy of being Mother. The reward of those moments wasn't only mine.

I used to keep a clipping on a bulletin board in the kitchen:
I hope that my children look back on today,
And remember a mother who had time to play.
There will be years for cleaning and cooking,
For children grow up when we're not looking.

You knew I was there. I was there when you were playing without me, even when you wanted to try something you ought not, when you wanted to hide. Some things you hid successfully, but you'd be surprised if you knew what I know, that you don't think I know. You grew up, and as you've matured you better understand the life of your childhood, what you grew from your being Baby, the Bonds we share.

I want you to know the swell of pride and joy, the satisfaction of fulfillment, the gush of admiration and love, that only a Mother involved in the moments of the day with Baby can experience.

I love you!
Mother

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